Excuse me, what's the modern social etiquette for that?

Sports Day at my son's primary school doesn't usually throw up the sort of situation that has me rummaging for my copy of Debrett's Guide to Etiquette.  No, actually, I don't have a copy of Debrett's,  but the thought flittered across my mind that perhaps there was no actual etiquette for what happened as it unravelled.

Firstly some background.  Tom's best friend at school was, for modesty's sake, called 'A'.  They had been at nursery together, and had both moved to the same primary school together.  Unfortunately 'A's parents separated last year, and sadly for Tom, 'A' has moved with his Mum 'X' and sister 'B' to a lovely part of the country, where 'X' had been working during the break-up.  We've supported 'X' throughout, and have kept in touch.

These things happen.

But.  'X''s husband, now ex, shall we call him 'Y', has been the protagonist of the piece, although we've only got 'X's side of the story, and how can anyone else really know what happens to a couple when a marriage breaks down?

Suffice to say, last year 'Y' left 'X', with barely an explanation, other than he needed some space and was stopping with a friend.  Eventually it transpired that the friend, shall we call her BITCH? 'Z', was the divorced mother of a child at school, and we'll never know how she got her claws into him, or how much he wanted her claws... let's not go down that route.

According to 'X' the only communication she's had from 'Y' since he physically left her has been via text or the occasional e-mail, and solicitor's letters.  I understand that he now 'skypes' with the children once a week, and has only seen them twice in the year since he left.  The one time I saw him at school pick up when he collected 'Z's daughter 'z' I completely blanked him.  Obviously.

So.

At Sports Day last week I was sitting on my rug eating my lunch (it said 'bring a picnic'), minding my own business, wondering if the weather would improve (it was trying to rain) and in the spirit of it being June I was wearing sunglasses (which I often do, as their physical barrier proves a good defence against pollen, preventing hayfever), when who should amble over, squat beside me and commence conversation? but 'Y' himself!!!

I nearly choked on my lunch, but thankfully didn't have to make eye-contact because I was wearing sunglasses.

So. So. So.  What would you have done?

He was being friendly, and my whole tone was cool.  My body language screamed 'get away' (I'm guessing he's not too good on body language as he hung around, although my feet, knees, torso, shoulders and head were facing away from him - he sort of hung by my left shoulder and I didn't adjust my position ie turn around to face him - what more could I do other than get up and leave? which would have made a scene, and frankly it didn't seem the right time or place for that...) well, if not screamed, at least indicated politely that he wasn't welcome.  Too subtle?

So he made small talk about last year's Sport's Day, the weather, the organisation of the event, the timing (it was running, unsurprisingly, a little late), and I answered in kind, politely, but with closed answers which didn't encourage further conversation, and eventually, after a while, he got the message(?) and left - or was it just that 'Z' had arrived and he went over to be with her...

I found the whole situation AWKWARD, as my daughter would say.

So.  Just how do you handle the philandering ex-husband of your son's best friend's mother?  Wrong time wrong place for a 'have you seen 'A' and 'B' recently? and how are they getting on at their new school?' kind of conversation?

Not my place, not my style to make a scene, but just what did he think he was playing at?  What was going on in his mind?  'Oh, there's 'K', I'll have a nice normal chat with her, see if she'll fall to my charm?'.

Not on you nelly, 'Y', you loser.  How you can treat your family like that, and then act as if you expected me to treat you as if everything was all right, or normal, when it's patently not... I'm speechless.  (Well, actually, as you can see, I'm not, but, you catch my drift...).

So, do they have a section for 'awkward/complicated' in Debrett's?   Because if they do, I'll get myself a copy.

Tom came 5th (of 6) in the 60m dash; 1st in the Egg and Spoon; and 3rd in the Obstacle Race.  That's my boy.

Kat.