Most of the time I try not to think. I've read about zen, and finding the centre and letting go, and it's harder than you'd imagine. Yet I find that I need this emptiness more as I get older. It's not that I've not got opinions. I do have opinions, and sometimes I express them, but more often I do not.
The joy of getting older is in the not needing to shout. In the knowing something deep inside, something that you hold true, and will discuss if necessary, but only then. The thinking has, or should have, been done already, and this is very freeing.
So then, if I try not to think, and I have no need to shout, why then do I blog? Why indeed? I blog to leave my mark. To say 'I was here'. Maybe to touch the few with a knowing reference, a nod to the nostalgia of my/our youth. To record memories here, in the 'never never' of the internet, virtually, because I'm not a diary writer in the traditional sense. Because I like playing with words, casting a spell, winding it in and intoxicating the reader... in a harmless way. I blog because I like it.
And then sometimes I don't blog. Is there nothing to say? Nothing to report, record, rewind? Playback and present it just so, so that the version you read is exactly how I want it to be. There's a lot of thought gone into every word. There's quite a bit of thought in each word. I think about the words. .... most of the time I try not to think.
But I know this.
I couldn't get a twitter account.
Let me try it here. Tonight's blog was going to be about knowing about my new job as Library Manager since mid-July, but not starting the job until the previous manager retired at the end of September. The coincidental timing of my new job and my parents' Golden Wedding celebrations (see previous blog entry). The very steep learning curve of my first month in my new job (hence not much blog action here, I've been shattered most evenings and sleeping quite well, apart from waking early in anticipation). The surprise I feel at how much I've been enjoying my running. The usual juggling of household chores, with childcare commitments, teenage girls, eight-year old boys, and the seeming ever present presence of Minecraft in the lives of both our children. The compromises you make to oil the wheels of family life. The love that glues our family together, that holds true through thick and thin, in the shared experiences we talk and laugh about. The support we give and receive. The thanks we share. The good.
tweet: It's been a busy few months.
See what I mean?
Night y'all ;)
Kat
The joy of getting older is in the not needing to shout. In the knowing something deep inside, something that you hold true, and will discuss if necessary, but only then. The thinking has, or should have, been done already, and this is very freeing.
So then, if I try not to think, and I have no need to shout, why then do I blog? Why indeed? I blog to leave my mark. To say 'I was here'. Maybe to touch the few with a knowing reference, a nod to the nostalgia of my/our youth. To record memories here, in the 'never never' of the internet, virtually, because I'm not a diary writer in the traditional sense. Because I like playing with words, casting a spell, winding it in and intoxicating the reader... in a harmless way. I blog because I like it.
And then sometimes I don't blog. Is there nothing to say? Nothing to report, record, rewind? Playback and present it just so, so that the version you read is exactly how I want it to be. There's a lot of thought gone into every word. There's quite a bit of thought in each word. I think about the words. .... most of the time I try not to think.
But I know this.
I couldn't get a twitter account.
Let me try it here. Tonight's blog was going to be about knowing about my new job as Library Manager since mid-July, but not starting the job until the previous manager retired at the end of September. The coincidental timing of my new job and my parents' Golden Wedding celebrations (see previous blog entry). The very steep learning curve of my first month in my new job (hence not much blog action here, I've been shattered most evenings and sleeping quite well, apart from waking early in anticipation). The surprise I feel at how much I've been enjoying my running. The usual juggling of household chores, with childcare commitments, teenage girls, eight-year old boys, and the seeming ever present presence of Minecraft in the lives of both our children. The compromises you make to oil the wheels of family life. The love that glues our family together, that holds true through thick and thin, in the shared experiences we talk and laugh about. The support we give and receive. The thanks we share. The good.
tweet: It's been a busy few months.
See what I mean?
Night y'all ;)
Kat
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