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Tuesday 9 July 2013

Unwanted calls....

I am of the generation that still uses their land-line phone.  I am ambivalent about my mobile phone although it's an understood necessity in this day and age.  I accept that I should have one, but I'm not interested in what model, and to be honest I'm not entirely sure what an 'app' is, does, or why I would want one....

I get along quite nicely with my old-style mobile handset.  I switch it on when I need to, and am surprised when it rings or a text message arrives.  Actually, if I hear it it's doing well. I usually keep it in the pocket of my handbag, which muffles the sound, and as I have partial hearing in my right ear it's entirely a fluke if I answer the call.

Just recently I've had a series of missed calls on my mobile from a number I didn't recognise, and when I called the number back it was line busy tone...  I assumed it was a random number generation thingy trying to get me to claim back my entitlement on mis-sold insurance from way back when.

It wasn't.  As it turned out, when I eventually answered the phone, and recognised the unknown number, a girl's voice asked me if she was speaking to Kat.  This question usually elicits two responses from me:

1.  If you have to ask me who I am, then you don't have the right to call me by my first name - please use my title 'Mrs';
2.  Who wants to know?

'Who's calling?' I asked.  'I'm calling from Vodaphone' she said, 'with some special offers for you.'.  I said that I was at work, and she jumped in with a bright 'It'll only take a few minutes'.   No it won't, I thought to myself.  'I'm at work, you can call me back later, goodbye'  I replied.

The next day my mobile rang just as I was leaving the library for lunch.  The young man this time was more circumspect than his colleague the previous day, asking if now was a good time to speak... (I did wonder if they'd marked my account notes with something to indicate to treat me carefully/cautiously...).  I decided to cut him a break, and said yes, now was fine.

He launched into a gushing thank you for being a loyal Vodaphone customer, and asked if I was happy with the service I received.  I said  yes.  He said to reward me for my loyalty they had some special offers they'd like to discuss with me.  I said to go ahead.

Firstly, he said, he'd need to know what phone I was using...  I took the phone away from my ear, peered at it (didn't have my reading glasses on) and advised him it was a Nokia.

Him:  It is a smart phone?
Me:  No it's quite old.
Him:  Does it have a touch screen?
Me:  No.
Him:  Is it a contract or pay as you go?
Me:  Pay as you go.
Him:  Do you make more calls or send more texts?
Me:  Well, I usually text my daughter if she's forgotten something for school, and I don't like talking on the phone too much in case the x-rays cook my brain, so I don't really know.  Text probably.
Him: Would you say you were a high or low user?
Me:  Low.
Him:  How much do you spend a month?
Me: I've no idea. You tell me.
Him:  OK, I'll just look at your account.  Right, you last topped up with £10 four weeks ago, and you've still got £7.53 credit.  So you're a low user.
Me:  Looks like it.
Him:  Well, I don't really think there's anything more we can do for you at the moment.
Me:  Nope.
Him:  Thank you very much, have a good day.
Me:  Thank you, I will.

I enjoyed our little chat, but mostly I don't think there's anything that anyone can do for me...  in terms of special offers.  And I didn't lay it on as thick as I could have.  When he asked me if it was a 'smart phone' I was desperate to say 'No, it's quite scratched actually', but I held it together.  Ah me, the fun you can have.  :)

And on that note I'll ring off.
TTFN. Kat



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