I can't really remember when the insomnia started, I'm too tired!!!
Seriously.. The downside of being an older mum (ie, having first baby at 35, and second baby at 40) is that you're always tired. Somewhere in all the madness I got lost in the mayhem, and my sleeping pattern, I now realise, hasn't really returned since then. Or it's early menopause.
Essentially, no matter what time I go to bed, and I usually go early (between 9.30-10pm, before my 11yr old sometimes!), I wake up at 2am, or 3am or 4am or 5am and mostly with a dry mouth. (I stopped drinking alcohol for last 6 weeks and still dry mouth, so it's not that!). Sometimes I get up and go for a pee. Sometimes I don't. Most times I can't get back to sleep for a couple of hours, and that's really annoying, especially with my darling husband lying next to me, breathing.... If darling daughter's bottom bunk bed is tidy I sometimes go there, to see if a different sleep environment helps, and sometimes it does and sometimes it doesn't.
I find that I must drop off at some point, because the alarm catches me out at 6.45am, but then I feel robbed, which is a rotten way to start the day. No wonder women turn to HRT.
What I want to know about HRT (Hormone Replacement Therapy) is this: is alleviating the symptoms just putting them off until later? I'll do some more research and get back to you on this one. Perhaps it would help for the time-being whilst the children are this age - will it get easier/less tiring as they get older? Who knows..
Anyhoo. Day off today. Actually most days are 'days off'. My part-time contract at the library is Tuesdays, Friday pm, and alternate Saturday am. However, from March-Sept I'm getting more hours, so that's to look forward to.
So what to do on day off? Well, after walking the dog, putting the washing on, and finishing my Women's Institute Record of the January meeting, I made a victoria sponge, made a chickpea casserole, and also made a huge pan of leek and potato soup. I also had a nap!! whilst listening to BBC Radio 4's afternoon play - the latest instalment of 'Pilgrim' which is extremely good dark drama, and a welcome return for next 4 Thursdays. I recommend it to you - check it out on the iPlayer...
Flagging now, so off to bed, and next chapter of 'The Eye in the Door' the second book in Pat Barker's 'Regeneration' trilogy. Gripping WW1 psychological stuff - really makes you think and be thankful. I recommend it also.
Sweet dreams y'all. Thanks for reading. Kat
"She's writing about me...about my nights."
ReplyDeleteThat's what my wife said after I read the first half of the post to her...dry mouth and all.
We only have the one youngin but, we were both 35 when he was born. I definitely blame it all on him...:).
Hi e.f.
Deletethanks so much for reading and being my first comment!
I started writing to see what would happen, and write as I muddle through - I hope it reads 'real'. Glad (well, not glad for your wife) to hear that my insomnia is shared - at least if we can identify with someone going through the same thing then we know we're not alone, and if we're not alone, we're not mad (well, I think the jury may be out on that for me, but watch this space!).
Best wishes
Kat